An Apology for my blatant deceptions...

Below is a letter that I have/am sending to many of my family and friends. I am, again deeply sorry and ashamed.

"For the last three years, I have continually and consistently lied about my experiences, my accomplishments, and myself. I have never served in the United States Military, though it has been a lifelong dream of mine to be able to. The reasons behind it are very stupid, and should not be mistaken for excuses. There is no excuse for this type of behavior, and I am deeply sorry for all of my mistakes, and to all of those that I have misled and deceived. When I was 16 years old, I started to become very depressed. I beat down on myself because of my inability to do anything right. I couldn’t attend school due to repeated illness, I couldn’t excel at playing my instrument because of lack of practice, and it seemed like every new task I took on was failed miserably. I began to belittle myself at every opportunity, and soon enough felt like I was completely worthless. At that point in my life, I so deeply wanted to join the military. Soldiers have always been, and still are, my heroes. I thought that if I were made into a soldier, then I would be somebody, and I would be important. I began to mislead my internet friends, who soon turned out to be my real friends. One of whom I married. The only problem is that I was lying, and that I had misrepresented myself to all of my closest friends. Soon, I wanted to end this charade, but it was too late. I was too heavily invested in it, I had told all of my friends, their families, and my girlfriend and her family. It soon warped into worse and worse, when I married my girlfriend and had to keep it up. Lies grow out of control fast, and this is no exception.I have learned two lessons throughout this experience. The first being that the truth always feels good, and that (while there may be temporary pain) there is no shame in it. The second is that everyone, regardless of their past wrongs, and everything else is important in the overall scheme of things. Heavenly Father wants everyone to be able to come back and live with him, and I want to be able to do so. My hope is that I will be able to cleanse myself of my many wrongdoings, so that I may earn the forgiveness of my family, and live with them forever in the next life. Once again, I’m so sorry to all of those that I have deceived, and though I don’t feel like I deserve it, I ask for your forgiveness.
There are many that may feel like they no longer know me-my wife felt the same way after I told her. Below is a brief autobiography, just detailing my past as it actually was.
Once again, I am deeply sorry.
My name is David. I was born to parents Stuart and Michelle in Mount Holly, New Jersey on April 3, 1989. After birth, I was not expected to live long: my mother’s antibodies and platelets attacked me as if I was a virus (much as they attack her own cells now). I’m told that it was miraculous the way I recovered, and that God must have a truly important purpose for me here on earth. Only recently have I begun to believe that.From the time I was one year old, I had problems breathing and with asthma, part of the problems caused from my pre-natal tango with hostile antibodies. It was medically diagnosed when I was two, and continues to be medically diagnosed today.As a baby, my parents often remarked that I was the most difficult kid to find. When they gave me my bottle and put me into a roller, I would always disappear, and eventually be found under the kitchen table watching planes land and take off from McGuire Air Force Base, where my father was serving at the time. When I began walking, my parents entered me into baby races. I’m not entirely sure how many, but I have two blue ribbons and one yellow ribbon from these races in my scrapbook today. My mother keeps reminding me of the story behind the yellow ribbon-I had fallen down half-way through the race, and everyone thought I would start crying. I just got back up, and ran straight to my mother at the finish line. Shortly after learning to walk, I learned to climb. I constantly scaled the counters at my parent’s and grandparent’s homes. My dad says that I kept getting onto the counters to get into the butter (which he no longer finds my fingerprints in). After moving to Utah, my family lived in an apartment in Murray, then Centerville, and finally moved to their current home in West Valley City. In West Valley, I started attending Pioneer Elementary when I was 5 years old. I cried for half the year when mom dropped me off and left. Eventually, we found that the solution was for me to take my blanket to school (which I did through most of my kindergarten year.) Thinking back on it, I was a crybaby, and a mama’s boy. Probably still am… Otherwise, I did exceptionally well in school. From first and second grade, I had an active imagination, and was able to articulate my thoughts down on paper very well. My writing skills developed and I started reading at high school levels thanks to constant enrichment from my teachers at school and my mother at home. I was very well based in Math, and grasped simple math very well. I was quite simply happy with doing my homework, watching television, playing video games, and running/playing outside with other neighborhood kids. We seemed to always be playing kickball or baseball, or riding around on our bikes. In 5th grade, I started to play the violin. I was so happy to being playing, but was still so inexperienced. In 6th grade, I started scouts, and was very excited about it. I thought a scout could do anything. From lessons in life, to simple merit badges, I thought I had become an expert in many things (even though I had only scratched the surface for most of them). It was a happy time.Then came Junior High School. I started to attend at Westlake, where my older brother was already struggling. I had a hard time fitting in among the other kids, most of my friends when to different schools and were in different classes. I didn’t care to make new friends, because I didn’t fit in with any of them. Many of my teachers were more interested in being social rather than being instructional. I didn’t feel like I was learning anything new, and that frustrated me. I started getting ill in 7th grade, and had a recurrence of asthma, and stomach problems. This made me miss a ton of school, not that I minded a terrible lot. I lost the desire to go to school, and didn’t care to participate in any of their social activities. I switched along with my brother and started going to Deseret Academy. In 8th grade, I fell in with the wrong social crowd, and became uncaring of a lot of things. I fell into sin, and lost myself so I could fit in with my ‘friends’. This, and circumstances at home started my spiral downward of self-esteem, depression, and self-loathing. At home, mom seemed constantly sick, and dad was never home. Daniel and I were left by ourselves for a long while during childhood. We had two dogs since we were little, Prince and Pauper. Both were German Shepherd Mixes. Those dogs kept us in line, and practically raised us when we were growing up. Whenever we would fight and forget to take the dogs out, they would start barking at us, Prince would chase his tail in anger, and eventually the dogs would pick a kid and start nipping and biting our butts. They herded us like we were sheep, and I’m extremely grateful that I had the opportunity of growing up with them. In 9th grade, I earned my Eagle Scout. It was a hard task, but I completed it with very little help from my parents. I developed a deep love for camping, shooting, the outdoors, my country, and many other things. But I hadn’t learned to respect myself. I progressed through school, and still felt like I wasn’t learning anything new. Eventually, because of problems with the school and its administrators, I left the school. But not without throwing a temper tantrum, and taking roughly half of the student body with me.10th grade was much of the same story. I started going to Taylorsville High School, mostly so I could take ROTC and participate in their activities. I wasn’t in the best shape, I was among the lowest scoring on the physical fitness tests. I couldn’t perform during fundraising, and failed to bring in my ‘fair share’ of contributions. I wasn’t one of the best shooters, and didn’t have the best grades. I felt unimportant; like I was nobody. At the end of sophomore year I had held two jobs, I worked at Fastenal as an Order Puller in the beginning of the year, and at Carmike Cinemas at the end of the year. But then a dream opportunity came up. I had the opportunity to work at Camp Steiner as the Rifle Shooting Merit Badge Instructor. But this was short-lasted, I was terminated during my second week for ‘igniting spray from an aerosol can to kill flying bugs.’ It was a heart-breaker for me. I shut myself in my room for a week, and hit rock bottom in my self-esteem. I had become unable to do anything right, and wasn’t worth a penny.It was at this time that I began my deception. It was at this time I began my deception. I needed a good excuse so I could resume working at Carmike, and I needed a good excuse to make me feel of worth. I remembered the path that my father took when he had just barely graduated high school. I remembered that I was going to do it anyways, so I didn’t think there was any harm in it (at the time). So I told everyone I had been at Basic Training, and I resumed my employment at Carmike.In my Junior year, I pretty much quit school and started keeping full-time hours at Carmike. I still made it to most of my ROTC classes, but still felt like a failure there. I improved in leadership skills and qualities, but was a Cadet Staff Sergeant, while all of my former classmates were officers in the program. I kept the charade up with my friends, and at work. I contacted several recruiters, trying to see how I could enlist, and each time was told that I needed a medical waiver because a medical diagnosis of asthma was an automatic disqualification. This only made me more depressed.My senior year was wildly unpredictable. I earned my GED and completely left school. I fell in love with the best friend of an ex-girlfriend and got engaged. I struggled with myself, deciding it would be best to keep it up than to tell her and risk her deciding to leave. After 20 months of marriage, my conscience finally convinced me to come through. Over the last 2 years, Stephanie has made a major change in me. She’s helped me to believe in myself, helped me push myself to my potential. She makes me want to be better, not just for me, but for her and our future children. I want to be the absolute best possible me I can be, so I can be worthy of living with her and our family forever in the eternities.So here I am today. Trying to find my way back to the path of righteousness, and repent of all of my wrongdoings. Once again, I’m deeply sorry to all of those I have deceived. "

Smashed... stupid snow plow

My Christmas Gift

I got the best Christmas present ever. None of yours will top it.

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you...

j/k, but I don't want to jinx it. You'll have to wait until Monday to find out... not that anyone who reads this blog won't know by then because we just can't contain it... We've been calling everyone. If you haven't gotten a call, give us a call and we'll most likely share it with you.

Until then, I think we're getting a dog. ;-)

Merry Christmas!

My husband has a girlfriend...

I'm totally cool with it though. He and his dad share her... and maybe his brother does too... Her name is CRIMSON. She comes every fall, and lingers the rest of the year. Enjoy Baby. Enjoy the one thing in life(not including me of course! ;-P ) that makes you perfectly happy. HOPEFULLY. Its lookin dang GOOD though!























































































Many thanks to Jamee whose blog I orginally found this on. I tweaked it to make it my own... but she rocks.

Fantastic Weekend...

So, this last weekend was our anniversary, and Mr. Higham planned some fabulous things for us to do.

Rewind to Friday, 3:00. Mr. Higham was going to surprise me and pick me up from work, but I made him spill the beans. So, I knew I was being picked up at 3:00. From my work, we headed for a late lunch at Taco Time. It was delicious.

Then, we started our trek to Provo, to find our beautiful bed and breakfast- our new home for the weekend.

It was absolutely beautiful. We stayed in the Whispering Willows, and had a great time. First things first, we walk in and take in the scenery. Beautiful green walls and a beautiful bedroom. Not to mention the fantastically beautiful jetted tub. We had planned for this, and had plenty of bubble bath. And, some bubbly. The Hines Mansion provided us with some pear sparkling cider which we enjoyed while enjoying each other.

Then we went to dinner. We had dinner at the Saigon Noodle House, which was kind of a hole in the wall in Provo. Dave had General Tso's Chicken

Doesn't it look yummy?! And I had my usual orange chicken (best Chinese ever!)

It was really good- Not to mention extremely filling.

Then we went back to the hotel and watched a couple movies. Well, Dave watched a couple... I fell asleep. It seems to be an issue for me. I finsihed the one I chose...

Friday night seemed to last forever, the train kept waking me up, so when Saturday dawned, it was especially early for me, but we got up and headed to breakfast. Saturday morning, I don't think Dave or I ate much of our breakfast. First, they gave us vanilla yogurt (yum!) with chilled berries (not so yum...) and then we got egg loaf. Kinda like meat loaf, but... grosser... It had chilis and jalepenos on it, and Dave and I nibbled until we thought it would be polite to leave. (Until they told us our room was clean)

It was really rainy on Saturday, or we would have headed for a drive up Spanish Fork canyon, so instead we went bowling! Dave looks H O T HOT! bowling. And he does a pretty good job-kicked my butt through both games.

After I was tired of bowling, we found the billiards portion of fat cats. Dave totally whomped on me there too! The only reason I even won a game was because Dave hit the cue ball in when he hit the 8 ball in. Hooray! Win for me. He won the second game though. And then he just got to play around for a little bit while I watched.

Then we went to Gandolfo's for lunch. Dave had some huge sandwich that was yummy minus the green stuff, and I had some sandwich that was yummy.

Then we went back to the hotel and had some fun with the jetted tub again. (FYI, don't turn the jets on before the tub is full...) and we watched more movies and just had a great time.

Then for dinner, we went to the Brick Oven. If you haven't been there, GO! It is SO freaking fabulous! I promise. Don't get the spaghetti though, unless you like spicy spaghetti. I prefer my spaghetti without peppers though... Other than that it was super fabulous. Dave says the pizza was great!

Then we went to the mall and totally got half our Christmas shopping done. It was super fabulous! Then back to the hotel for a not so restful night sleep.

Sunday morning, we had pecan pancakes. Dave ate around the pecans, but I ate them, and they weren't even half bad... for nuts. Ew. Then we packed up and headed to Mom and Dad Brewer's to pick up the cake.

We got to eat year old cake! The frosting could have killed someone if we had used it like a knife... but we didn't. And for being year old cake, it wasn't half bad. I still only ate a bite though.

This summary doesn't do our anniversary any justice, it's better when you can actually hear the emotion and see all the pictures we took, but that would take too much of your time, and too much of my time.

Oh, and Spencer, thanks for the message, it was sweet of you to remember our anniversary. Dave has been meaning to call you back, but this week has been insanely busy. He'll get to you, I promise. Just give him a bit. Hopefully tonight. We'll try. No promises though.

Anniversarys are great!

Groceries.. SO exciting!

Dave had a HUGE eyeroll for my title, but I'm excited about it. We only spent $160 ish dollars on groceries for the both of us for 3 weeks. That's AMAZING! It's so entirely awesome to me. I think it's fantastic. We're under budget, which is super. This month was our tester for the new budget, we just rearranged things and figured new things out, so to be under budget is fabulous. Part of it though is because we didn't really have any meat to buy, because we still have a lot in the freezer, and that's one of the most expensive parts of shopping, but still. It's exciting. If any of you out there need a person to help you with your finances, my husband rocks at it. Depending on who you are, he might even help you for free... ;-P...

In other news, Nathan left on his mission today, and it's going to be a LONG two years. He's a pretty big part of our lives, and now we won't see him for two years. It's crazy. But so exciting for him. I know he's out there doing the Lord's work and I wouldn't have him any other place. It'll be a completely different experience though.

Oh, and I just remembered, I so just stole Dave's post. Payback is SWEET! Finally!

Just an insert, could you guys all add an extra prayer to whoever you pray to for Stephanie Nielson? She and her husband were in a plane crash and are in need of some serious loving. If you wanna know more about her story check it out. http://nieniedialogues.com And while your down there, say one for me too would you? Everyone could use a prayer every now and then.

It's getting late, and if I don't make Dave go to bed soon, I have to face his wrath tomorrow (kidding) but he will be grumpy, cuz he has to work late tomorrow so we have even less time with eachother than usual and he has to get up early... so we're gunna head out for the night.

Steph

Life...

So, Dave found a job, and so far... from what I can tell anyway, he's loving it. It makes life a lot easier for both of us him not coming home stressed and upset about the job he has. We're both a little less stressed, but at the same time, is there ever less stress in our lives?

School started up a week and a half ago, and neither of us have been very studious. It wasn't the wisest move as now we both have that much to catch up on, not the greatest way to start out the semester. We're each taking four classes, and with a full time job, going to school full time isn't so much fun. It's really time consuming, and we already have tons of stuff we have to do.

My sister got married on Friday, and it was a sore spot between Dave and I, we've since worked through it, but it was a pretty tough weekend. For all of you wanting advice about your fights as a couple (when you're a couple) don't bring anyone else into your fights. I think it's better for your relationship if you're able to work through things yourself without having friends and family have to take sides. Seriously, resolve your differences so you can laugh at them before you tell anyone. This is something I learned this weekend.

The end.